Home / How to Help Someone Who Refuses Therapy
Watching someone you love struggle, while they insist they are fine, is exhausting. You cannot force an adult into therapy, but there is a lot you can do.
This guide covers how to raise it, what tends to backfire, and why getting support for yourself can help them too.
To help someone who refuses therapy: choose a calm moment, describe the specific changes you have noticed without labels, listen to their reasons, offer practical options such as online sessions or a single trial session, and avoid ultimatums. You can also see a therapist yourself to learn how to support them. If they are in danger, call 112.
Common reasons include stigma (“therapy is for mad people”), fear of being judged, worry about cost or confidentiality, a bad past experience, or simply not believing anything will help. Understanding their reason tells you what to address.
Pick a calm, private moment, not the middle of an argument
Say what you have noticed: “You have not been sleeping, and you seem tired all the time”
Listen to their reasons without arguing
Offer options: online, a single session, a different therapist
Offer practical help, such as finding a therapist or going with them
Give it time and come back to it gently
Ultimatums and threats
Labels like “you are depressed” or “you are crazy”
Raising it in front of others
Making it all about how their behaviour affects you
You can see a therapist on your own, even if the other person never comes. It can help you cope, set boundaries and learn ways of responding that make change more likely. Many families find that once one person starts, others follow.
You can help them book, but an adult needs to agree to therapy themselves for it to work.
Yes. Many people come to us for support in coping with a family member’s difficulties.
Call 112 or go to the nearest hospital emergency. For free support any time, call Tele-MANAS on 14416.
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You do not need the right words ready. Tell us what has been going on, and we will take it from there.
If you are thinking of ending your life or harming yourself, or you feel unsafe right now, call 112 or go to the nearest hospital emergency. For free support any time, call the government’s Tele-MANAS helpline on 14416 or 1-800-891-4416. Trijog is not an emergency service.
