Who do you think you are? Do you really think you did your best on that project and made your boss like you? You know your colleagues are much better at this job than you. There’s no way you’re cut out for this. Wait until you make a blunder and everyone sees your mistakes. Everybody will know you’re a fraud. You will never be good enough.
This is what impostor syndrome sounds like. If someone said this to you, you might want to find new friends or report them for verbal harassment. Yet many of us talk to ourselves this way.
What is impostor syndrome?
An inner voice like this could mean that you, like 7 out of 10 people, experience impostor syndrome (also known as impostorism or the impostor phenomenon). It is a faulty belief system in which a person persistently doubts their competence, despite clear external evidence to the contrary.
Where the idea of impostor syndrome came from
Impostor syndrome was first defined in 1978 by Drs. Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes of Georgia State University. Their work focused largely on high-achieving women.
When the concept was created, systemic racism, classism, xenophobia and other biases were not considered. Women of colour, and people of varied economic levels, genders and professional backgrounds, were excluded from the study.
To this day, the term tends to be used for women, especially prominent and powerful female leaders. It is referenced far less often, in conversation or the media, in connection with men.
Do men experience impostor syndrome too?
While there is no clear evidence, some research suggests that men and women may experience it at the same rate. However, women are more likely to speak up about it and seek help, while men are less likely to do so.
How toxic masculinity keeps men silent
One reason for this hesitation is toxic masculinity: a set of attitudes and behaviours stereotypically associated with, or expected of, men. We rightly acknowledge how toxic masculinity harms women (for example, through sexual harassment and gender bias) and society as a whole, but we must also consider how it harms men.
It stops men from acknowledging that they have impostor syndrome, or realising that it isn’t helping them. Because of social expectations, men are less likely to admit difficulty, and so they dismiss the internal challenges they face.
Men are taught to save face and never admit to problems, which keeps them from seeking help. Toxic masculinity also makes it harder to be vulnerable and learn from mistakes. As a result, many men with impostor syndrome avoid admitting mistakes, which limits their ability to grow and can hold back their careers.
Because impostor syndrome is more commonly associated with women, it is even harder for men with similar thoughts and feelings to speak up, especially if it is seen as a “weakness”. In reality, when it is recognised and worked with, it can lead to new levels of self-awareness and growth.
Successful people who have spoken about impostor syndrome
Several highly influential people have spoken about their experiences with impostor syndrome, including:
- Tom Hanks (actor)
- Lady Gaga (musician and actor)
- David Bowie (musician)
- Serena Williams (tennis player)
- Maya Angelou (author and civil rights activist)
- Howard Schultz (founder of Starbucks)
How to deal with impostor feelings
There is no shame in self-doubt. Many people experience it, including a long list of celebrities and industry leaders. Success doesn’t require perfection, because true perfection is nearly impossible to achieve, and falling short of it does not make you a fraud.
Instead of judgement and self-doubt, treating yourself with kindness and compassion can help you keep a realistic perspective and pursue healthy self-growth.
When you learn to recognise and deal with these feelings, you can move forward instead of getting stuck in the impostor cycle.
When to talk to someone
If impostor feelings keep coming back, a therapist can help you work through thoughts of inadequacy, question and reframe unhelpful beliefs, and manage any anxiety, low mood or other emotional pain that comes with them. Book a session with a Trijog therapist or call the Trijog helpline on 1800 202 7180.
