“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” – we hear this time and time again, but how true is it really and is there really a way for a relationship to thrive despite being miles apart?
The answer is a resounding yes. Read on to build on your relationship with your partner and know that it is very possible to have a strong, enduring and healthy relationship even if you’re physically apart.
There’s no denying that LDRs come with their own set of dynamics that set them apart from any other romantic relationship that’s geographically close. Challenges can range from communication barriers, difficulty in maintaining emotional intimacy, balancing independence and fostering a sense of togetherness and maintaining trust and security.
So now comes the HOW – how can you make sure your relationship stands the test of time (and distance!)? Read on to make sure you’re giving your best to your partner.
Prioritize Regular and Meaningful Communication
We constantly underestimate the power of regular check-ins. A simple text to start and end your partner’s day can increase emotional intimacy by a large margin. It makes you both know that no matter what the day brings, you’ll start and end it in comfort with each other. Try to make it more intimate by sending voice messages, making surprise random calls through the day when your partner least expects it – this keeps the spark alive, it also makes your partner sure you’re thinking of them.
Quality vs Quantity
Frequency is definitely important, however the quality of your interactions has a greater significance long-term. Find yourself being too busy on some days with scarcely a minute to yourself? Fear not, even if you have a 10 minute window once in 2 days – capitalize on it and make him/her/them a quick call – where you read out a letter you’ve written to them filled with everything you admire about them, affirming your love for them and ending it by saying though this was a short moment of connection – it encapsulates how much you think of them throughout your busy schedule – this will really help build security in your partner and will foster more understanding of your unavailability when life gets to be too much.
Instant Troubleshooting When Miscommunication Arises
One drawback of being so far away is that texts and tones of messages can be misinterpreted. This plus the frustration of already being apart can make miscommunication and misunderstandings escalate very quickly. Address the issue instantly and come up with temporary words of assurance for your partner. If you don’t have the time immediately to resolve everything – send them a quick voice message clearing things up and assure them you’ll be back to communicate further to clear any more confusion. Small assurances go a long way. They’ll know then that they’re a priority despite any other areas of your life you’re giving attention to presently.
Rituals – Creative and Consistent: Your Saviour
Establishing routine rituals like a weekly video date, a daily affirmative message about something you love about your partner, can create a sense of normalcy and keep the connection strong in your relationship. Effective communication requires creativity, effort and consistency. Find the right balance that works for you and your partner through open and transparent dialogue. Does your partner love music? Dedicate a song to them every other week – send them a link and tell them what about this song reminded you of them. Can you sing? Sing it to them. You’ll really make their day!
Cultivating Trust
This is key – you master this and most of your problems won’t arise. Make sure there’s consistency in communication and respect agreed upon boundaries – e.g: if your partner clearly is unavailable for a certain time in the day – respect it. If they request for personal space – give it. This way, not only are you and your partner secure in your relationship, you also build respect and deep trust that you’ll come back to connect after you’re apart.
Dealing with Loneliness
It can be very daunting facing a routine without your partner who is a large part of your support system. Recognize this with them and address it. Acknowledge the feelings rather than dismissing them. Dismissing or ignoring them can breed resentment later on which can then come out on your partner unnecessarily when they’re not at fault. Make sure to stay emotionally connected – share experiences, how you felt after them, how you missed them during it, share pictures, and possibly even send them a video message from the place you visited showing them around like you’re walking with them. Send them surprise gifts, watch movies together – use sites like Teleparty so you can also discuss the content. This fosters a deeper bond. Finally, make sure you and your partner both build a strong support network outside of the relationship – friends, co-workers, family, workshops/classes so that there’s a reduced sense of isolation. This way your emotional eggs are divided into multiple baskets and you’re also recharged and uplifted when you both come together to discuss varied activities and experiences.
Coping with Emotional Challenges
Even despite trying your best to incorporate the aforementioned methods to keep yourself and your relationship mentally healthy, if you find yourself getting overly emotionally distressed or overwhelmed make sure you establish self-care routines for yourself to help boost overall mood and well-being. This could include indulging in hobbies, volunteering at an animal shelter, having a nice relaxing scented bath and reading books that stimulate you.
Setting Realistic Goals
Ultimately in most relationships the endgame is ending up together geographically for the long-term. Having a clear understanding of a timeline and how this will happen can help motivate you and your partner in low moments or moments of deep uncertainty. This can also give you something to actively work towards and also focus on your own individual growth along with the relationship’s growth without the constant tension of what ifs and worries about the future. Having a clear direction allows you to also build on and capitalize on your present independence and really grow in maturity so you both come back evolved when you reunite physically.
Setting realistic expectations and understanding the limitations of your LDR can help manage your disappointment if at all it comes up in low moments. Ultimately, if you feel you’re unable to manage the more complex emotions – don’t feel ashamed to seek professional help either individually or as a couple. Learn how to manage your stress effectively to maintain your mental health.
LDRs with their unique set of challenges require a lot of effort, commitment and patience. We empathize completely with the difficulties you must be facing. Keep in kind however that there is always a way if you want it hard enough. There is also tremendous opportunity for growth individually and together as a couple. Your journey may seem fraught with obstacles and difficulties, but this piece was written with the offer of some light and hope that despite any storm, you can be the eye, the calm for each other.
If you feel that seeking professional help is what’s best for you – please don’t hesitate to reach out to Trijog – a very safe space for you to explore and resolve your emotions individually and together. We’re here for all your needs and we want your relationship to not only be maintained, but to thrive and be alive with all the sparks you want!
~ Aashraya Gattamraju
Contact Us:
Via Telephone: 8999243153 / 8422922905
Via Email: [email protected]
Via Website: trijog.com
Instagram: trijog
LinkedIn: Trijog-Know Your Mind
