Social media has set unrealistic standards for how our bodies should look. These “beauty standards” portray an idea of body perfection that has left many women and men in distress. What is perfect, and who gets to define it?
Is having “curves” what makes someone feminine, and a “buffed body” what makes someone masculine?
How beauty standards affect mental health
Perfectionism drives body dissatisfaction, which in turn has a huge impact on mental health and self-esteem. Feeling low or depressed about your body is quite common with today’s unrealistic beauty standards. Anxiety about your body can lead to overeating or disorganised eating patterns, which can cause other health conditions.
After all, what is all this worth?
Perfectionism sets unachievable standards that take away your freedom. Chasing those standards takes a toll on your mental and physical health. It is always “never going to be enough”, because beauty standards keep changing and, in fact, keep escalating.
Why self-acceptance matters more than perfection
The key lies in this:
Being comfortable with yourself, and accepting who you are the way you are, first.
Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, and we differ in many other ways too, such as skin colour and skin texture. The important thing to focus on is to “be healthy”.
Being healthy should be the concern, not whether you are pretty enough.
Why feeling comfortable in your own skin matters
Feeling comfortable in your skin can be difficult. Not only do we deal with aches and pains every day, but depictions of beauty in the media can change the way we feel about ourselves and our bodies.
Feeling comfortable in your body has its advantages. For one, it means you are more confident. Confidence is key to almost everything you do, from talking to your boss about a big promotion to going out on dates.
Unfortunately, for many of us, our bodies are not what we want them to be, no matter how healthy our diets or how intense our workouts. Fortunately, it only takes a little mind power to feel more comfortable in your body.
How to feel comfortable in your own skin
Here are some changes you can make to feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Practise healthy social media habits
We do not just mean putting your phone down before bed to get more sleep, although if you find yourself scrolling Instagram at 2 a.m., you probably should. What we mean is trying not to compare yourself to everyone else.
This can be difficult, but you can do it by making sure your feed is filled with diverse people. Many of the photos you see on social media are not real, so there is no reason to judge or compare yourself to someone else.
Instead of constantly seeing images of people with bodies different from yours, expand your feed to include people with bodies like yours, then keep broadening it to include a diverse range of body types. There is nothing wrong with following fitness models, but if you find yourself comparing your body to theirs, it is time to focus on other things.
The accounts you follow should inspire you, not make you feel any less beautiful because you do not look like someone else.
Change your mindset
Repeat after me:
Feeling comfortable in your body has nothing to do with looks.
Yes, it can be difficult to separate the two, but it is all about your mindset. Your body is simply a part of you; it is not who you are.
Accept your body for what it is by reminding yourself that it is because of your body that you get to experience some of the best parts of life, like connecting with others and going on hikes.
Prioritise yourself
Taking care of yourself is key to feeling comfortable in your body. By prioritising yourself and your own needs, you will be more in tune with who you are.
You can prioritise yourself in many ways, from learning to say “no” to people who drain your energy, to making “me” time, such as a skincare routine you enjoy, regular facials or daily walks around the neighbourhood.
People who do not make time for themselves are often harder on themselves in every way. If you work and work without taking time to relax and decompress, you will feel the impact in all areas of your life, especially in the way you see yourself.
By prioritising yourself, taking care of your skin and feeling confident in your body, you will begin to feel more comfortable.
Make healthy choices
You do not need to change your body in any way to feel comfortable in it. While healthier choices can affect your body and help you lose weight, they can also help you feel more comfortable in your body even if you lose no weight at all.
Healthy choices can be anything you feel improves your life and your health. Some people focus on their mental wellbeing, while others take up yoga or start making healthier diet choices.
Healthy choices can help you get into a more positive mindset.
If you are eating a poor diet, you may feel lethargic and even low, which can lead to negative thinking about your body. Once you start eating healthier, you will feel better and have more energy, so you can start feeling more positive about yourself.
Find work you love
Feeling more comfortable about your body does not have to start or end with your body itself. You can feel more comfortable and confident about yourself by finding a job you love.
When you work on projects that make you feel good about yourself, and you are confident in your abilities, you stop worrying about how you look and start realising your full potential.
Take a look at your current job and the impact it has on your life. Do you feel confident at work, or do you feel drained of energy? How comfortable and confident you feel in a place where you spend eight hours a day can affect how you feel in your own skin.
Express yourself
Expressing yourself is one of the best ways to improve your self-confidence. If you hide away instead of expressing yourself, your self-confidence can take a serious hit.
To boost your body confidence, be self-expressive. You can express yourself in many ways, such as singing, dancing, making art or writing.
De-stress
Take time off work when you need it, and never push yourself so hard that you feel trapped. Make time to de-stress from things that can harm your mental health in the long run.
The way you feel in your body is connected to your mental health and self-image.
When you are feeling down, you may start to see yourself differently, so it is important to make time for things that keep you motivated and happy. Think about the things that make you feel calm and relaxed, from a warm bath to petting your dog, and make time for them, especially when you feel overwhelmed.
You can also de-stress by planning how to get yourself out of stressful situations. For example, business owners worried about their finances can make a plan to manage them better in future. The simple act of planning, whether it is your day or your future, can help give you back a sense of control.
Spend time naked
If you avoid looking at your naked body in the mirror, it is time to open your eyes. Spending time naked can help you gain self-confidence and feel more comfortable in your body. You might instinctively hide your body even from yourself, but this can quickly spiral and leave you unfamiliar with your own body.
Looking at yourself naked helps you get comfortable with your body because you see it more. Just as with friends, family and even co-workers, the more you see something, the more comfortable you become with it.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, try not to be judgemental. Instead, thank your body for all the things it lets you do, such as walking, writing and playing with your pets. Without this body, you would not be able to enjoy life to the fullest.
Spending more time naked can be difficult if you usually avoid mirrors and cameras, but it can help. You can start slowly, for example by sleeping without clothes, and see how you feel.
Confidence is what makes you, you
These practices will not only lift your mood and help you accept yourself more, but also raise your self-esteem.
Confidence is what is most attractive in any person, and that is what makes them different.
You are perfect the way you are. Take it one step at a time, not towards a prettier life but towards a healthier one.
Talk to someone
If the way you feel about your body is affecting your mood, eating or confidence, a conversation can help. You can book a session with a Trijog therapist or call the Trijog helpline on 1800 202 7180.
